A good thing that never dies

Hope Is The Thing With Feathers

Emily Dickenson

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

This morning, I purchased a DVD entitled The Shawshank Redemption. It is a movie based on the same named title by Stephen Kings. It has a nice ring to the theme of the story, revolving around a man named Andy Dufresne, who was wrongly accused and incarcerated for life inside a maximum security prison for a crime he did not commit. I do not wish to describe the life Andy Dufresne experienced inside there. Instead, I would like to talk about the importance of having hope especially when your life is tumbling down the stygian depths of darkness.

In the story, an old man named Brooks had been prisoner inside the panopticon for over 50 years. He was assigned as a librarian there, which was an responsibility given only to those who come from a well educated background which inside prison, is a respectable job. After his 50th year of serving jail term and when he was too old too work with arthritis on both hands, Brooks was finally granted a parole to live amongst and working society. After receiving news of his release, Brooks lost his mind and threatened to kill a fellow inmate. At that moment, his cell-mates and I was confused. After all, I thought that there was no reason why Brooks would risk his chance of parole after receiving the good news.

What really got to me was that in reality Brooks did not want to be released. Red shortly after explained:

Red: Brooks ain't no bug. [pause] He's just institutionalized.

So what exactly does institutionalized mean?

Red: The man's been in here for 50 years. 50 Years! This is all he knows. In here, he's an important man, an educated man. Outside he's nothing. Just a used-up con with arthritis in both hands. [...] I'm telling you these walls are funny. First you hate them, than you get used to them. Enough time passes, it gets so you depend on them. That's institutionalized.

Brooks after released, describes his feelings on the matter with a letter to his ex-inmates:

"Dear fellas:

I can't describe how fast things move on the outside. I saw an automobile once out the outside when I was a kid but now, they are everywhere. The world, went and got itself in a big damn hurry. The parole board got me into this halfway house called the "Brewer" and a job bagging groceries at the Food-way. It's hard work and his hands hurt most of the time. I don't think the store manager likes me very much. Sometimes after work I go to the park and feed the birds and keep thinking that maybe Jack (his crow) might show up and say hello. But he never does. I hope wherever he is okay and making new friends. I have trouble sleeping at night. I have bad dreams like I am falling. I wake up scared. Sometimes it takes me a while to remember where I am. Maybe I should get me a gun and rob the Food-way so they would send me home. I could shoot the manager while I was at it sort of like a bonus. I guess I'm too old for that sort of nonsense any more. I don't like it here. I'm tired of being afraid all the time. I've decided. . . not to stay. I doubt they would kick up any fuss, not for an old crook like me."

At this point I cried when Brooks carved his name on the wall in the place he stays, and hanged himself (Ya I know I'm a sucker for scenes like this). What makes this scene so special to me is how it impacted Andy's life after that. During lunch while have a conversation and out of 2 weeks in solitary in the "hole" for broadcasting "The Marriage of Figaro" a classic by Mozart, Andy when questioned "Was it worth it?" commented:

Andy: Easiest time I did. I had Mr Mozart keeping me company [...] It was in here [points to his heart] That's the beauty of music. They can't take that from you. Haven't you ever felt that way about music?

Red: I played the harmonica when I was a younger man. Lost interest in it though. Did not make much sense in here.

Andy: Here's where it makes the most sense. You need it so you don't forget. Forget that there are places in the world that aren't make out of stone. . . There's something inside they can't get to, they can't touch. That's yours.

Red: What are you talking about?

Andy: Hope.

Red: Hope?

Andy: Hope

Red: Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane. It's got no use on the inside. You'd better get used to the idea.

Andy: Like Brooks did?


At another scene after 19 years of serving his term, Andy was on the point of depression and he was describing his plans for the future. Reds on hearing that, said

Red: I don't think you should be doing that to yourself. This is just shitty pipe dreams. I mean Mexico is down out there and you're in here and that's the way it is.

Andy: Yeah that's the way it is. It's down there and I'm in here. I guess it comes down to a simple choice. Get busy living, or get busy dying.


Towards the end of the show, in Andy's letter to Red he describes hope.

"...hope is a good thing... maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies."



How often when facing our troubles have we chose not to hope for a better tomorrow for fear of facing disappointment? It is as how Emily Dickenson's poem above describes:

"And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm."

Likewise, we during harsh times like a storm abashes this little bird called hope just as Red did in the show. Whatever it is, I just want to call upon you my friends, to remember this just one line that no matter what happens, it comes down to a simple choice- Get busy living, or get busy dying.

What will you choose when the time comes?

Perspective

In my Strategic Marketing Meeting today, we were brainstorming on our choice of company for our case study. Initially we were indecisive because the company we thought off always were unable to meet to criteria:

1. Primary research sources or accurate/reliable secondary research

2. Unable to think of a problem/issue at hand the company is facing

After many hours of brainstorming and headaches, we realized that we were not really heading to any direction. In any case, I was unaware that a member in my group has a high profile dad working inside a large MNC, and is largely my fault since I did not make a strong enough effort to get to know everyone better.

While we everyone including me were figuring out a problem that the firm is facing, a list of common issues appeared. Some of there were:

1. Low sales
2. Lousy product
3. Poor marketing

and so on and so forth, basically issues that I felt had a very poor angle to base our report on.

Strange how at that moment, I remembered a phrase written in the same Kundera book which I blogged about yesterday (It is strange since it dealt with a distant topic called love). Kundera says:

".... because love is a continual interrogation. I don't know of a better definition of love.

(In that case, my friend Hubl would have pointed out to me, no one loves us more than the police. That's true. just as every height has its symmetrical depth, so love's interest has as its negative the police's curiosity. We sometimes confuse depth with height, and I can easily imagine lonely people hoping to be taken to the police station from time to time for an interrogation that will enable them to talk about themselves.)"

Just as a every height has its symmetrical depth, so does a problem, a positive and negative side to it. From the very beginning, we had been assuming that only poor/under performing companies faces a problems (the negative side) and have neglected that even really well performing companies (not excluding monopolies) have its problems as well (the positive side), and that it is not prudent to assume that the bullish run uphill will last forever (just as how IBM's mainframe computers proved unsustainable against desktop PC in the long run). Problems they face maybe things like having new entrants entering the industry, the threat of deregulation and stagnant growth. It was at that moment an "aha" came across me, and I felt really silly at how narrow my chain of thoughts were.

Funny how the best ideas can come from the strangest places and how business can assimilable with the topic of love.

The faint, clear metallic tone of a golden ring falling in a silver basin

I absolutely love the book The Book of Laughter and Forgetting by Milan Kundera of which this particular section earned my extra attention.

Milan Kundera, in describing a writing by Thomas Mann:

"...Thomas Mann wrote a naively entrancing story about death: in that story death is beautiful to all those who dream of it when they are very young, when death is still unreal and enchanting, like the bluish voice of distances.

A mortally ill young man gets on a train and, descending at an unknown station, enters a town whose name he does not know and rents rooms in an ordinary house from an old woman with a mossy growth on her brow. No, I'm not going to relate what happens then in that rented lodging, I only wish to recall a single trivial occurrence: passing through the front room, the ill young man "believed he heard, in between the thud of his footsteps, a sound coming from next door, a faint, clear metallic tone-but perhaps it was only an illusion. Like a golden ring falling into a silver basin, he thought. . . ."

In the story, that small acoustical detail remains inconsequential and unexplained. From the action's standpoint alone, it could have been omitted without loss. The sound simply happens; all by itself just like that.

I think Thomas Mann sounded that "faint, clear metallic tone" to create silence. He needed that silence to make beauty audible (because the death he was speaking of was death-beauty), and for beauty to be perceptible, it needs a minimal degree of silence (of which the precise measure is the sound made by a gold ring falling into a silver basin).

(Yes, I realize you don't know what I'm talking about, because beauty vanished long ago. It vanished under the surface of the noise- the noise of words, the noise of cars, the noise of music- we live in constantly. It has been drowned like Atlantis. All that remains of it is the word, whose meaning becomes less intelligible with each passing year.)"

The noise he describes is metaphoric. I think what Kundera is trying to get across is that in the time of his works, people were getting increasingly deaf to their beauty around them. I suppose it was set in a period of industrialization where the pace of life has increased so rapidly it is difficult to appreciate simple things such as the setting of the sun or the dawn of a new day. How true is Kundera when he says that "All that remains of it is the word (beauty), whose meaning becomes less intelligible with each passing year."

I read in the writings of another author (and I unable to recall the name), which likened to Kundera, describes how in the 21st century the advent of portable music players has made the symptoms of how people are increasingly indifferent to their surroundings obvious. How often have I seen and how convenient it is now, for anybody to listen to their iPod and become indifferent to the cries of the weak who are struggling to make ends meet; I recall a old granny who often appears near my home, victimized by the perpetrator called time, and to whom attempts to retain the minimal of what is barely recognized as pride by selling tissue papers along the street, flirting between the thin line between begging and selling something of significant value and whose presence is barely visible much less her tears she carry.

A gold ring falling into a silver basin. Isn't that what we really need?

Why I hate shopping

I spent the afternoon today at Takashimaya’s Kinokuniya bookstore today. It was of my original intention to shop for some clothes but it was too crowded to my liking such that I had even trouble pacing my footsteps. Anyway, since I spent the day alone, I had a lot of time to organize my thoughts and observe the surroundings around me, of which unfortunately, many of them has left me disturbed and increasing perplexed.

It may seem heartless and hypocritical to even think or mention this in writings but over the years every time I walk through the underpass that leads Orchard MRT station to Wisma Atria, there is always this blind musician who plays the organ and sings along to crowd for a living. I have noticed him there ever since I was in Secondary two (that is roughly 9 years ago), and in my secondary school years I have always made it a point to give a little of my loose change to him. I guess that is the way I have been brought up, and I often recall during Primary school how my mother would give me a dollar to offer to the man sitting at the side of the aisle with an empty tin can in front of him, looking as pitiful as he can be. I do not know when the change began, but as I grew older, it has come to my realization that these people and that includes beggars has began to gradually irritate me. It is not because I despise their jobs and their inability to make decent living for themselves but it is the realization that, whatever pennies and I gave in the past years have not in the slightest way seem to improve their standard of living. In a way, it is a form of naivety thinking that I can somehow change the world in small acts of kindness.

There was originally one blind musician in that underpass before but today, what do I see? There are now a total of three guys sitting in that overly crowded aisle and I for one do not know to whom is more deserving of receiving the spare change that I carry in my wallet. Is the blind guy who plays music next to the crippled guy who is unable to use his limbs to play music more deserving of the penny I carry? It fills me with great regret and undeserving hypocrisy that when given such choices, the best course of action to me is inaction; if any form of altruism does not serve a purpose what is the point to it? Also I find it pretty ironic that the moving billboards along that underpass, warrants more attention than the fact that aisle is almost full of people in need of compassion and empathy, but are unable to gather the tiniest fraction amongst the tens of thousands of people that pass by each day with myself as a perfect example of how consumerism today has blinded myself and many others of their surroundings that really matter.

I walked into Top-shop, Lacoste, French Connection, Guess, Calvin Klein, Puma and Zara today. I suppose after walking through that underpass I was not in the mood to buy any clothes for myself not to mention the fact that facing so many choices of brands and merchandise around has rendered me unable to choose upon alternatives. I wanted a nice and comfortable sweater. Guess had one vintage piece in which I liked particularly. It costs $99. And than I was at Puma and upon the encouragement of my friends to buy a bag that is able to fit the things I carry to school, I noticed a brown sling bag that costs around the range of $80. I wanted a pair of T-shirt from Top-shop and FCUK too. It cost $49 and $69 respectively. Than I think to myself that I left home with the intention of spending no more than $120 and no matter what I choose, I am unable to buy even two of the items that I like. Any item that I choose will leave me unsatisfied not because I do not like the item, but because I know whatever I choose, I will end up regretting the purchase. So I think to myself how wonderful it would be, if there was only one shop in Orchard, and that it sells only one choice and all you got to choose is small, medium or large.

After an hour or so of wasted time shopping, I decided to step into Kinokuniya. It is after all my favorite shop in Singapore. In any case, there was a certain book that I have taken great interest into. The title by Milan Kundera is The Book of Laughter and Forgetting. Couple of months ago, I had added this book into my list of to haves. I was particular intrigued by a review which describes his book as book that describes that when we die, what we lose is not the future, but the past. We can forget the past, but is it possible to lose the past? Mitch Abom did a good job with his books Tuesday with Morris and the thought of being disappointed with a book of similar genre by Kundera off-set my intention to purchase it. But anyway it is still in my list of to haves.

As usual, I saw many other books that I liked.

There was a book called “The Reason Why I am Not a Christian.” I wanted to buy it somewhat to spite my parents on why I stopped going to church since they are such fervent Christians which inevitably often ticks me off. I never liked the fact that they made me go to Sunday school when I was young.

There was a book on philosophy on life, book by Murakami which I adore and respect as an author. There was a rather wittingly written book about the contradictions and ironies of life which permeates society. I find it strange that for some prisoners they are given the privilege to have a “last cigarette” before they are sentenced to death, and in some others, smoking is banned in totality in prison campuses. I really wanted to buy it but the fucking book was bright pink is color and it was $30! (note* I would have bought it if it was not pink)

I ended up buying a book called “We Need to Talk About Kevin” by Lionel Shriver. You will not believe why I chose this book. I chose it because the little boy in the cover looked cute. After two fucking hours of headache in deciding what book to buy, I bought a book because of the cover! Sometimes I really hate the choices that I make.

The story of Tom and the Penguin

Tom on his first day of school meets this girl May and spoke briefly to her as how a passing acquaintance would. May is polite and petite and at first impression, seems like someone he can talk to. Tom immediately takes a liking to her, not as a boy-girl attraction, but her as an individual. Unfortunately, the conversation was short lived.

Tom has never got a chance to talk to her. Maybe Tom did have a chance at many occasions but none of which seems natural to him to strike a conversation; when they walked passed each other, or when she just stood in front of him in a queue. As time went by, it seemed as though Tom and May’s first meeting had never existed. It is as if Tom is wondering whether May recognizes him since they had never formally introduced and hat it would be rather awkward to actually say hello or acknowledge the presence of one another.

Thus a year passed by quickly and Tom hears nothing from May, nor May of Tom. However, Tom hears about May from friends who know her. As a matter of fact, Tom only knew that her name was May because his friends talked about her.

This scenario gets a little bit complicated. You see, this situation is like that of which a celebrity faces. We hear a lot of celebrities from external sources such as the news, paparazzi and the magazines and have easily information on certain aspects of their personal life; where they have been recently and their likes/ dislikes. What happens than when we actually meet that celebrity face to face? I recall reading an account of a celebrity who mentioned of how some of their fans approach them like they think that the celebrity is a close friend of theirs just because they know something personal about the celebrity’s life. But truth is that there is no relationship at all and there is no way to fix or advance a relationship that does not exist.

Now extrapolate this into the situation Tom is facing. Tom knows that this girl’s name is May and a little about her but not sure whether May knows who he is. So what does Tom say to her the next time he sees her?

“Hi May, my name is Tom” – Sounds like a stalker

“Hello, my name is Tom. You are?” – Sounds like a stalker who is pretending not to be one

Even a simple exchange of a smile or eye contact is difficult because there is no way Tom can know how such a friendly gesture may be interpreted as.

You must be laughing at Tom. “Hahaha. Simple problem, make it sound so complicated!” Maybe it is, or maybe because that Tom is innately shy.

So today Tom was in class today reading during break time and May was sitting behind him and she tells a joke to a friend beside her:

May: “My mother told me a joke last night about a Qi Er (Penguin)”

Friend: “What is it?”

May: “Well my mother was trying to explain to me why the front of a penguin is white and the back is black”

Friend: Why is that?

May: You must imagine the movement of the penguin for it to be funny. Because when the penguin baths it can only reach the small portion in front of it and not behind

Tom is not trying to evedrop but the thing of trying not to overhear a conversation is the same as trying not to think of the pink elephant- You can never succeed! If you do not believe try it. For the next 10 seconds do not think of the pink elephant and if you succeed tell me how. But anyway, Tom upon hearing the joke bursts out laughing (He has a thing for penguins) and tries to hide it. He wishes to return another penguin joke but it would seem rude to him if he reveals that he heard the entire conversation. Thus the best response to him is no response.

Anyway, it so happens that a female friend of Tom approached Tom yesterday and she asked Tom for a favour to help introduce a crush she has to her. So today, Tom went to that guy the girl likes and got his hand phone number and MSN contact for her. Suddenly, Tom’s dilemma suddenly felt entirely stupid and trivial and Tom thinks to himself, “What the hell? If a girl can go to such extremes to create a chance for herself, why can’t he do what he wants to do?”

So Tom goes home today, gets May’s contact through a friend and shares the penguin joke with her.

The End

eeeee beetle

This post is dedicated to the most irritating person alive. Here is a picture of him:
(Note* I wanted to draw petty things on his photograph such as panda eye or a pig nose as a form of childish insult but apparently he saved me the trouble):




















A Few days back:

Alvin -- > I love you Steve! said:

u look hot nowadays. what u did ?

mok said:

erm cut my hair thats all lol

Alvin -- > I love you Steve! said:

must be more than that

mok said:

what i do?

Alvin -- > I love you Steve! said:

i'm asking u

mok said:

i din do anyuting la except cut my hair.. serious

Alvin -- > I love you Steve! said:

ok lo

Alvin -- > I love you Steve! said:

look hot is good

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (00:33):

mok

mok says (00:33):

sup

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (00:33):

can i confess something to u?

mok says (00:34):

what is it?

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (00:34):

i kinda like u..

mok says (00:34):

erm ya as frens ya

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (00:35):

i was actually testing myself

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (00:35):

i tot i actually like u

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (00:35):

but when i was confessing, i don't feel any blush or blood rushing to my head.

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (00:35):

so thank god. it's just friend .

mok says (00:35):

chey

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (00:36):

but u are like ah

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (00:36):

yesterday i can't help but to steal glances of u

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (00:36):

i feel so wrong..

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (00:36):

but i can't help it

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (00:40):

today luckily i didn't see u

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (00:45):

hey

mok says (00:45):

hmm

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (00:45):

u are not Shocked?

mok says (00:45):

am i supposed to be

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (00:46):

i don't know

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (00:46):

but u are quite cute actually

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (00:46):

i noticed u since the 1st day of school

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (00:46):

as in 2 sems ago

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (01:01):

do u like me?

mok says (01:01):

nope dun like anyone atm

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (01:02):

do u think u may like me in the future?

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (01:04):

i'm not joking u know

mok says (01:05):

ya i know just thinking of the best way to put it to u... but i think this is the best la.. i like girls and i like being single

mok says (01:05):

and i don't have any intention to get attached or get into any relationship until my career is stable

mok says (01:05):

and i am financially sound

Alvin -- > Stop burning your forest, you stupid people says (01:05):

i'm sorry...

mok says (01:05):

naw its ok i respect what u tell me

mok says (01:05):

and u as an individual

Last Night:

Seriously man. What part of my conversation do you not understand? Should I be more direct and tell you that I like chicks with tits not chicks with dicks? I try to the best of my ability to treat everyone with all the respect they deserve as an individual but you are seriously crossing the line here to the point of annoyance.

"EEEEEEEEE A BEATLE"... I mean common lah. Even if you were a girl I'll minus 50 points for being a stupid twit. Since either you don't get the picture that for me, male + male = no thanks and that you are stupid, or you just don't see that being persistent does not count as determination but rather as harassment, I shall not reserve any kindness to keep this as discrete as possible.

NO I DO NOT WANT TO GO SWIMMING WITH YOU

NO YOU MAY NOT COME TO MY HOUSE

NO I DO NOT WISH TO STAY OVER AT YOUR CHALET

NO I DO NOT WANT YOU TO SEND ME ANY PORN

NO I DO NOT WANT TO WATCH PORN WITH YOU OR CONSIDER WANKING OFF WITH YOU TO ANY COW DOG AND CAT HAVING SEX

WHETHER I WATCH PORN OR NOT IS NON OF YOUR BUSINESS

NO YOU ARE NOT CUTE.

NO I WILL NOT LIKE YOU ANYTIME IN THE NEAR OR DISTANT FUTURE EVEN IF YOU AND I ARE THE LAST PEOPLE ALIVE.

NO I AM NOT SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO BOYS

YES I LIKE GIRLS. YES I LIKE GIRLS.

Amen.

Three Dollars

My favourite two paragraphs from Three Dollars by Elliot Perlman:

"My concentration seemed to evaporate on contact with any of the required reading and I found myself attempting to learn by rote, a sure sign of quintessential floundering. I paced my bedroom repeated with emphasis that it is movements of the earth's crust along with subsequent weathering and rock displacement that provides for mineral formation and relocation into the site lines. I understood what they were but it was at this point that my attention would float off the page to a world where there was no fault and the original layers of rock formed by sedimentary or chemical processes were never distorted into folds to produce synclines and anticlines, but rather that we were always inclined toward each other, as we were at the beginning.

I knew that where the folding is sufficiently severe, the rock is frequently heavily fractured, particularly where it is under tension. But equilibrium on the surface of the earth was a thing of the past. At the end of four or more hours at my desk, this was all I really knew."


Take some time to reflect on it; it is filled with many double entendres with emotions disguised wittily as geographic facts and how they are merged together to display how human emotions permeates forcefully inside the minds of an individual.

See and you will believe, know and you will achieve

I had a coach in secondary three while studying in ACS(I). He was a short man, overly tanned, armed with a muscular upper body and supported by chopstick legs. His name was Mr See Teck Hock a man in his thirties who had a reputation among the student body as a very strict teacher and being a devil canoeing coach. Before I joined the canoeing team I had previously two core curriculum activities (CCAs). I left my second CCA at the end of secondary two with acrimonious feelings that it was just a waste of time. I felt that CCAs was probably going teach me useless skills and I felt that CCAs was not going to support me in the later parts of my life. My peers and also my teachers were often encouraging me to take part in one and that it would benefit me with the PEARLS point that I could accumulate for my Junior College applications.

At that time, I was what my teachers refer to as a problematic student. I do not know what came over me, looking back I guess I had a very short temper and carried with me a kind of anger that stayed with me controlled in between the breaths of air that I took. It was definitely there even in times when I was silent. My form teacher in Secondary Three Ms Siao Lay Kuan, she recognized it and also partly because of my under-performance for my academia. Besides the gifted educational programs offered by my educational institution, my class was considered the best secondary three to four class for academic performances. I never asked to be placed there nor requested for triple science. As a matter of fact I wanted to enter the ordinary two sciences program that the majority of my friends were posted to. The school disagreed with my decision because of my excellent grades I achieved in secondary two and thus left me no choice in the selection of classes. I felt there was no point in doing well if it was going to leave you unhappy with the outcome of it and thus I decided to deliberately do badly. This was a major contribution to the declination of my academic performances and another reason why Siao Lay Kuan often wanted to “talk” to me. I got angry at her for trying to talk to me. I never liked to talk about my feelings and often bottled them up. One day when she called me out for a “talk session” after class, I snapped at her Sotto voce and called her a bitch. After that event she decided to send me for some counselling sessions.

You can imagine how my secondary three life was like. The canoeing club was founded in the February of that year. I remember some of my closer friends joining the club in the beginning of the year. The reason why I decided to join the club later was because I was observing the changes that were going on in the lives of my friends in the club. What I observed was not what the eyes can see. I saw the kind of determination, an inner strength, discipline and focus that they carried throughout everything in their lives ever since they entered the club. After they won a canoeing medal (I think it was bronze), I knew it in my heart that it definitely came from the canoeing club. I was filled by a kind of craze to know what was so special about the canoeing club that can change so many people’s lives so radically in such a short of period of time. It was than that I decided to enter the club too.

I do not wish to talk about the kind of training that we had to undergo. You may be able to picture it in your head once you know that Mr See Teck Hock was a devil coach. But anyways, why I wrote this boring account of my life was because I needed to reminiscence how this was such an important turning point in my life. You see, Mr See was a really special man, it is with great regret that I only realized this recently after reading a sports magazine while having my hair cut. In that magazine, it wrote about various articles about sportsmanship and also about an event when an ACS(I) rugby player, kicked the head of another player and also bit him in the arm while playing a rugby tournament an epitome of bad sportsmanship. In the magazine, it emphasized that too often schools, in the pursuit of winning Gold Medals, have often missed the whole purpose of the game of sports. How true they were on this; too often have I heard that the club was going to be closed because it was draining too much of the school funds and not performing to its expectations and thus it would be a better use of the sports funds to use it more on the higher profile sports such as swimming and rugby. It is pretty ironic that it is the same adults and teachers that are telling us not to give up when the going gets tough and crap like that. But anyways, in the school’s pursuit of these medals, and the coaches increasing pressure to deliver the results expected of them, they forget that the purpose of sports is to cultivate character in the people who participate in them. It is this character that actually wins games and tournaments and commands the respect of the people watching the game. Looking back, Mr See actually understood this. This is why he reprimanded us while we were training for things I did not really understand then.

A lesson I will never forget is this: We had a junior who was doing push ups with us, and halfway through almost at our 4th set, he was at his limit- he just could not move his arms any more while the rest were still okay. All of us decided to just finish up our set of push-ups and be over with it. Yet, Mr See was angry with us for not helping our weaker peers out, nor slowing down for them and like the current electric herd of mindless cattle, for obeying the law of the jungle or Darwin's law of natural selection where the weak perishes and the strong survives. It was an anger that carried a tone of disappointment that you will remember for life. Eight years later as of now, I still do and act on it with great faith, even though it sometimes makes me feel like a loser in life, where to slow down would be going against the flow of the river in an increasingly hostile, competitive and unforgiving environment.

Another lesson he wanted us to know was the importance of punctuality. He told us that while we think that being five minutes late is of little significance, the act of being late can be seen that you do not value the importance of the person that is waiting for you or the importance of them or their dreams. It sounds harsh but I found it true while training in harsh conditions. You see, we only have around two hours of water training each session and being just five minutes late will signify five minutes off the entire team training and the disappointment of them in you for taking the teams goals for granted.

The greatest lesson and also most treasured lesson of mine is this:
The ACS(I) canoeing team with only one year infancy was regarded as the underdogs in the nationals. No schools regarded us as of any challenge and significance. Even worse, we were often intimidated by the other national players from the other schools such as SJI which was indubitably the national champions for many consecutive years. Mr See he knew of our concerns and he would often use as an anecdote a story of the puffer fish and the shark in the sea. In his opinion, we were the little puffer fish in the sea and SJI were the sharks. He wanted us to, just like the puffer fish, if it was being threatened by the shark to give it one hell of a fight and not to go down without letting our opponents know that just because of our small size, we are not to be taken lightly.

There were many more lessons but these were the ones most important to me. Mr See truly believed in first cultivating character to enable a person to succeed in sports and eventually become a winner later in life. The reason why I am here today is because of everything he taught. I do not believe I would have made it through my O’ levels if it were not for him. It was because Mr See insisted on seeing each member’s report card after every examination even though he was not in charge of my class of any subjects that I took my studies seriously.

The most significant part of my life was actually the result of all the training we endured. At the day of the canoeing nationals around August of my secondary 4 year, our team managed to win a gold metal, securing the overall championship for the entire B division team. If there is such a thing as miracles in this world we live, that was my miracle. A miracle so intense and of which we knew we did not win by being merely a stronger team, but by grace of which we were undeserving of, that the entire team broke down in tears that streamed like a wave of unrestrained influenza as we gathered around in a circle offering our prayers of thanks after the nationals. I do not believe that words can fairly describe those feelings of undeserving joie de vivre euphoria. It was like planned chained of events from somewhere, somewhere out of our control, from above that won us the championships. We knew it from all the trainings in which there was a heavy downpour that lasted only as long as we were travelling from the school to our training ground where it would miraculously stop and leave us rainbows that ended where we gathered our canoes in the Kallang waters. The rainbows whispered into our hearts, and required us to cup our ears into the voices of the forgotten, that encouraged us and fuelled us with strength knowing that we were not alone. If it is true that the end of rainbows lays a pot of gold, than we were the gold for the moment it lasted. The time where we lost our winged pedal which was going to be used in the coming race, and three days later we found it lying buried in the sand, in an impeccable condition. What are the chances of that happening? The time in our doubles race that lay the decisive outcome that we were to win in the competition by merely one enigmatic point, where our SJI’s opponents pedal broke into two that left everyone's jaw gaping wide, encircling the two victims of circumstances with an ambiguous question mark. It is almost physically impossible to break a racing pedal consciously and even more impossible to break it while rowing. How is it not possible that we won by grace and grace alone? How is it possible that this is not a miracle and since it is one, would it be strange for the entire canoeing team to break down and cry and cry and cry. . .?

How far have I fallen from back then? Looking back it is amazing to know that whatever achievements I have received thus far was the result of using what coach taught me and by applying it to my every day life. It fills me with nostalgia and acts us my prophylactic for my sick longing of what was, that makes me feel like throwing up whenever I think of how miracles to me now is like a distant memory, an archaic word from a language no one here speaks of, except in the memories of what coach taught us in his lessons of life, to never falter, never give up, to be the puffer fish we are in every challenges we face and to make good the saying that in adversities, some people break down, while others . . . break away.

Be elusive but do not walk far

You picked up the pieces, glued them together, and walked away. Is there any other more intense form of cruelty disguised in the form of the verisimilitude of kindness, self-sacrificial kindness that propagates itself within oneself like the vilest parasite, feeding inside into the very core and implodes one from functioning as an impeccable whole? I cannot affect any blame on you; I always knew you were an exponent of Hobbes or perhaps because you have always been my Ophelia. Just like a broken vase, it will never be referred as a vase, a vase to which it was designed to carry a light of hidden flowers, flowers of hope that it will be glanced briefly by passersby and referred in their subconscious as “the beautiful flowers carried in the vase.”

No frills attached, it leaves one with a childhood longing which stems from inheritance of knowledge of what had been and it encumbers one in a state of helplessness in which Eliot describes as one’s long-time emotional palette of shades of melancholy degenerating into a kaleidoscope of raw extremes- extremes in which one flirts briefly but intensely with paranoia, anger, self-pity, self-doubt and a sense of hopelessness.

I do not ask you to stay with me. Just be elusive but do not walk far. Write this down on a piece of paper and keep it hidden inside the darkest recess of your wallet or whisper it sotto voce to the gentleness of your heart from time to time and maybe, just maybe this broken vase will not remain so broken. Even if you do not, tell me you did. As Shakespeare once said in Macbeth:

"Oftentimes, to win us to our harm,
The instruments of darkness tells us truths;
Win us with honest trifles, to betray us
In deepest consequence."

After all, what man so courageous, can muster the strength to deny the truth of the paradox that living inside the light of a lie is a better alternative than being betrayed by darkness of the truth?

Out of abundance He took abundance and still abundance remained.

In a game called “Winners”, a group of twenty people are divided into five equal teams. That is to say, each team consists of four members each with no experience of working together or knowing one another before. The determinant of success or objective of the game is defined as “Every team must make a profit.” Each team is given a time limit of sixty minutes to achieve the objective of the game, in which they must come up with a product and earn a profit within the given time frame. It is evident however, that the success rates for people who participated in the game were only two percent.

Two major conclusions for the shockingly low rate of success were made.

1. When the game just began, most teams begin work by choosing the first few products to sell that came to mind, and also responsibilities of duties were assigned perfunctorily.

2. When every team was interviewed after the game and asked about their definition of success, most teams gave a rather abstract definition of success such as “To each the highest profit”, “To earn a profit”, “To have fun together” or “To give it our best.”

The learning objectives of the game were to show the importance of getting to know one another before the assignment of duties. There was clearly a lack of teams who first gathered together and introduced themselves to one another- to learn about each member’s past history and working experience. When the teams were asked why they neglected doing so, most teams replied by saying “there was a lack of time for that” or that “they felt that this was not important step” What was evident from past experience from players before was that the successful teams were the ones who got to know each other before splitting the workload.

Another learning objective for the players is to highlight the importance of all teams having a very clear definition of success before starting the games. It is however noted that most teams experienced what is known as a “competitive block.” That is to mean that they are blinded by their own competitiveness to outperform the other teams, and to earn a higher net profit than their “competitors.” The rules of the game were simple and clear. I repeat again to highlight the importance and succinctness of it:

“Every team must make a profit.”

As long as one team fails to earn a profit, every other team would have failed in this game. What is ironic is that many teams have even experienced the need to “kill off all competitors.”

My point here is that too often we are blinded by our own need for success, to do well in the examinations that we embrace a dog eat dog world and do not look around us for the bigger picture. I make it a point for me at the beginning of each school semester to set my own personal objective- and it was “Everyone in my team must do well” for last semester. In the book “The One Minute Millionaire” written by Mark Victor Hansen & Robert G. Allen the author of the chicken soup series, he writes these two characteristics and values about successful people:

1. Abundance is your natural state

And

2. Givers Get

These two structural principles go hand in hand with one another. Robert G. Allen believes that the first principle is important because our state of mind creates our state of results. If you believe that money exists in limitations to everyone, it will be limited to you that way too. But if you believe that money exists in abundance, obtaining money in abundance is possible. This is more known as the self-fulfilling prophecy.

The second principle “Givers get” embraces a paradox which makes no logical sense. However on the meta level, it proves true. In 2 Corinthians 9:6 it says “He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully.” The seeds for harvest refer metaphorically to the act of giving. Think about it carefully, isn’t the old saying of “Respect, the more you give, the more you will receive” proven through time to be true?

I for one know this to be true for my studies. A mentor of mine once told me that the best way to learn is to teach- By teaching my friends and making study notes for my friends before the examination, my grades have improved significantly. One way this is achieved is through the feedback I received for my notes I make and how to improve on it. To the cynical person, it may sound a little hypocritical to give only for the sake of receiving. But to the egoist, this form of giving is the most praise worthy form of altruism. No doubt embracing this paradox takes a great combination of faith, action and trust. To accept these values, it may make one easier to do so by embracing a poem by Apollinaire:

“Come to the edge, he said.

They said, we are afraid.

Come to the edge, he said.

They came,

He pushed them

And they flew.”

Honesty, Fairness and Justice

I have rented a few DVDs recently. My favorite title was Kingdom of Heaven directed by Ridley Scott. The show was simply… TERRFIC! From the show I have learnt a couple of lessons and while studying for ethics, the time could not have been more apt.

In the show, when the King of Jerusalem was addressing Balian (Orlando Bloom), a knight and son of Godfrey, he said this:

“A king may move a man, A father may claim a son. But remember that even when those who move you be kings or men of power,Your soul is in your keeping alone. When you stand before God, you cannot say “but I was told by others to do thus”or that "virtue was not convenient at that time"This will not suffice.”

Which brings to mind the issue of ethics and morality- When Balian was asked by the King to marry Sibylla, and in so doing, would be the cause of a great number of deaths which include the villain, the next King of Jerusalem Guy, and all the knights of Guy who refuse to swear new allegiance to Balian. Balian refused promptly.

When questioned why: “Why do you protect Guy? He’s a man who insults you, hates you. He would kill you himself if he had the chance. For the further salvation of this Kingdom, is it so hard to marry Sibylla? Jerusalem has no need for a perfect knight”, Balian replied this “No. It is a Kingdom of conscience or nothing.”

Balian could have prevented a war against the Sacarens but because of Balian’s choice, Jerusalem fell. Thousands died trying to conquer Jerusalem or defend their home as predicted. I believe Balian's choice was a good one. I believe also that it should not be the predicted outcome that governs the choice of action but rather the virtue and goodness of the choice of that moment that should encompass our actions. But how often do we actually make decisions by rationalizing that virtue was not convenient at that time or that we have to simply follow orders?

What we are taught in school of ethics is this. We are taught of a model of Blanchard and Peale that before we make any decision making, we should precede by asking ourselves three questions.

The 1^st question is “Is it legal?”
2^nd: “Is it balanced?”
3^rd: “How does it make me feel?”

The Wall Street Journal Model has a similar field of thought. It poses similar questions:

1. Am I in compliance with the law?

2. What contributions does this choice of action make to the company, the shareholders, the community, and others?

3. What are the short- and long-term consequences of this decision?

Both models as we can observe have put law above everything else. This actually contradicts what we have been taught in the introduction and definition of ethics which describes ethics as such: “Ethic stands are not the standards of the law. They are a higher standard.” This being said, using the above definition of ethics, I feel that the above 2 models are inadequate. The question that should have been asked first is this: “How will it make others feel?” The second question to ask is “How will it make me feel?” Only by placing the feelings of others first, can you actually know how the decision you make will make you feel. It can be summed up in one word and that is “empathy”. Empathy will allow us to make decisions that do not go against the innate conscience that we are bestowed with.

Now do not misunderstand. When I say this I do not mean that we are above the law. What I am saying is that legislation may not be always right. The system is flawed because it is designed by people who are imperfect. If the law says that it will be a crime to not to follow the King's orders, and the King orders you to commit murder, does it make murder morally right? Think this does not apply to people of our time? Think again. When US soldiers were ordered to torture the Iraqi prisoners, by law, not following the order could lead to severe military punishment and even imprisonment. The system of following orders was designed for a good purpose but can be abused by people of authority in a myriad of ways. Simply put, sometimes being a good men does not necessarily mean that we are a good citizen.

A friend was telling me of a recent event in school, that a girl was “removed” from her present project group because she was under-performing and slowing the team down. I have worked with that group previously and do know for sure that it is true that this girl Angela is not the best team member/player you can have. But as a leader for one of their previous project business frameworks, I can confidently say that Angela do try her best, she has good working habits and she is also a sweet friend to have. I have also heard that after she got removed from the team she cried and cried till she was on the verge of becoming preserved plum.

My point here is that in making their decision, has Angela's team actually placed her feelings before their own? Is it so easy to conveniently remove a good friend when things get rough? I can pretty much guess that team would try to rationalize their action in this way: “Work is work, friends are friends. Its nothing personal” I say that is a bunch of crap disguised in florid prose because when feelings are involved it is personal. Once again the decision calls for one to be empathetic to others. Is there a better solution to the problem? Would I have done the same you ask? My answer is no. It must be a decision made of conscience or nothing. I chose to leave Angela’s team before I joined another. Sad to say, it is difficult for me to remain friends with them as of now but at least I chose not to toss another person’s feeling and trample on it for the sake achieving better grades.

Here's a conversation between my friend and I

I said this: “ethics is crappy because all you need is to know how to write well” and “it does not have to reflect your true values.” Ironically, I will be doing that in the examinations, quoting people like Peale and Blanchard and using the wall street journal model for it although it is not within the boundaries of my value system. To me ethics is not just about honesty, fairness and justice. Honesty, fairness and justice are simply what is required for a person to have a clear conscience, the means to an end. What about loyalty, friendship and love? There's so much more to ethics but the bottom line is this- Ethical behavior cannot exist in the absence of a clear conscience.

Cookies as bait?!

Online Gaming Addiction

Introduction

Many friends of mine have asked me before why people get addicted to online games. Some of these questions are ubiquitous in nature and spring upon many girlfriends caught in the predicament of their boyfriends spending too much time and attention on some “stupid” game and not diverting enough attention to them.

Some of the common complaints I hear are:

“How come Roy spends more time on Dota (Defence of the ancient) than on me?”

“If only there was no stupid Warcraft around”

In extreme cases some relationships even borders on the rocky end or end abruptly because of the presence of these online games. To me, playing online games is alright. I mean you can’t expect your boyfriends to be playing Barbie dolls right? It’s all a matter of control and setting the right priorities.

Since these questions have popped up with increasing frequency during recent periods and with the renaissance and proliferation of online gaming, I have taken a short time to compile the evidence on why online games are so addictive, using science as the basis of explanation.

Before I begin, I would like to declare that I was once a compulsive and addicted online gamer, ever since the release of Starcraft in year 1998. I’ve followed up with BroodWars, the Starcraft expansion pack, Diablo 2 and its subsequent expansion pack, Warcraft ROC (Reign of Chaos) and TFT (The Frozen Throne), and finally settled on Final Fantasy 11 (FF11) Online. Up to now, I can safely say that I am no longer hooked to online gaming and this article will cover the topics how this addiction starts off, its consequences and the methods employable to curb the paroxysm of gaming addiction and assuage the temptation of logging on into your online gaming account.

Why I started playing

It all began in the year 1998 on Starcraft when I was facing my secondary 2 years. For those of you don’t know Starcraft is a real time strategy (RTS) game in which it is designed such that you oversee your colony’s economy, defense and offence and the objective is to secure your victory by destroying your opponent’s base. Initially, when the game was released it was the hot topic my class. Even if you are not interested in online gaming, you would simply buy the game to play for social reasons- to not be left out when people are talking about it. As I played on, I realized that I was pretty good at the game. Who doesn’t like winning right?

It extended to 8 years back and personally, I think that the addiction did not start off at this point since Starcraft’s game design does not call for addiction as much as other Mass Online Role Playing Games (MMORPGs). One typical game ends in around 10-15mins average and once it ends, it ends there. The only thing that can keep you going is for better stats ratio. The real addiction begun with the release of Diablo 2, where you can create a character and get stronger and stronger with the passage of time. Also because, there is never an end for the game, so what construed as beginners interest and the curiosity to go on to find what happens next, becomes an activity which is carried out for the banal sake of carrying it out.

Consequences of playing

It was around JC1 when I started out with Diablo 2. I would categorize it into a semi online RPG unlike the major (MMORPGs) such as FF11 or the current hit World of Warcraft (WOW) since it operates on a much less scale with fewer quests and lesser interactions (up to a maximum of 7 other players at once) as compared to MMORPGs which interact you up to thousands of players at once on a much larger emotional scale.

Now, although the potential for this game to addiction is much less, being hooked into this game has caused me dire consequences on my school grades mainly because of the huge amount of time I spent on it, the lack of sleep, and the psychological distractions I faced in school pertaining to it which resulted in me skipping school a lot to head home or to the lanshop to play the game, heading home to sleep, or sleeping in class because of fatigue both contributed to the lack of sleep and from my CCA involvements.

I’ve read articles in the papers and other sources of addicted gamers who actually skip crucial examinations and other important events because of irrational behavior resultant from gaming addiction, suicide cases because of spurned romantic advances or murders because of online fraud. In South Korea, a 28 year old man reportedly collapsed and died after playing an online game for 50 hours straight! Thankfully my addiction has never mounted to such a great scale. However, it was obvious that my school grades had met a huge decline because of it, from “A”s in my school grade to moderate passes and towards the end of JC1, I was almost retained a year, with 3 “F”s in my preliminary examinations! Also, although my JC2 grades met an improvement after I quit Diablo2, it wasn’t something that makes a person proud of. In the year 2002 of JC2, my MCs hit around 27 for the year, not including the days that I skipped school unofficially, lessons that I escaped from and the days I left school prematurely and such.

Although I’ve mentioned that I managed to quit Diablo 2 effectively by JC2, the thing about online addiction is that once you’ve actually painstakingly, managed to quit a game, it leaves and empty void in your habitual schedule which leaves you seeking to other forms of online addiction. In my case, I simply moved on to Warcraft 3 ROC in which the game design is very similar to Starcraft. Amazingly and also unfortunately, with the release of Warcraft during the middle of my JC2 semester near my preliminary examinations, I played a total of over 2000 games in 3-4 months, in which it timing crossed over to my A levels preparation timetable. That’s about 20 games a day, with an average of 10-15mins a game. Multiply that by 20 and that’s the time I spent on Warcraft 3 a day.

For some Southpark WOW addiction humor, visit, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvy5FJX4z1g

Why Online Games are so addictive

Genetic Makeup

I read in an article in Reader’s Digest that online addictions can be a result of a person’s genetic makeup, which means to say, that person A can be more susceptible to addiction than a person B because they suffer different levels of disturbances naturally occurring brain chemicals called neurotransmitters.

The article states this: “These chemicals influence impulsive feelings and behaviors. The main neurotransmitter involved in all addictions is dopamine”, says Winslow. People with low levels of dopamine are more prone to anxiety and cravings. Advancing to the next stage of an online game gives them a buzz that causes an increase in dopamine and makes them feel better and more motivated. This winning feeling is so reward that its memory takes great intensity and becomes more desirable every time it is recalled.”

Classical Conditioning

Also, the rapid gratification of winning not only helps a player forget their problems but also becomes a powerful trigger, creating an urge to play in the 1^st place. Psychologists describe this trigger response mechanism as classical conditioning which I learnt in school last semester. Basically, an association between the pleasant feeling of winning and the respective game is created. When an individual is not playing online and is experiencing negative feelings such as anxiety and stress, one’s mind will naturally seek more pleasant thoughts and will recall the positive feeling associated with playing the online game. I opine that this is the contributing reason to why people shift from addiction of one online game to another which I mentioned earlier. This is to fill the empty void of negative feelings by a substitute online game.

We know now that online addiction is contributed by 2 factors namely:

1. Personal Genetic Makeup
2. Classical Conditioning

Game Design

The 3^rd factor that contributes to online addiction is a topic that game designers upon interview decline to comment upon. Upon contacted for interview by Reader’s Digest, none of the online game developers would talk about whether or not they are using behavioral psychology to strengthen the emotional appeal of their games, thus making it addictive. However, Liz Wolley, founder of On-line Gamers Anonymous, an organization dedicated to helping people addicted to online games, strongly believes developers use complex psychology to make games addictive, for the sole purpose of increasing profit, since a lot of these MMORPGs like WOW, main income stream is from the continual subscription to the service on a monthly service. The online game market is worth around $1.4 billion in Asia alone and is expected to grow to $3.6 billion by 2010!

Other games like Water Margin Online, which a personal friend of mine plays, has certain items that is only attainable through online purchases and my friend has spent several hundreds of dollars for the purchasing these online pixels.

Liz Wolley commented that “Game designers have said that they were hired simply because they have psychology degrees.” If this is truly the case, certainly the ethical considerations and moral obligations have been bypassed when designing the game. Personally I feel that when designing the game so as to give the player the greatest amount of pleasure is a good thing. However, designing the game, to get a player addicted to it, as the underlying purpose, is abysmal and should be greeted with opprobrium.

Random Reinforcement

One of these methods designed in online games in which I have experienced and influenced into addiction involves a complicated conditioning response as what psychologists refer to as “Variable Ratio of Reinforcement”, in effect random reinforcement. This is very different from Vicarious learning/modeling which involves rewarding or punishment directly to induce or reduce a behavior such as the rewarding of a dog with a biscuit for performing a trick well, or punishing a child for bad behavior. With random reinforcement, the rewards are just that- random and unpredictable. This is how the best games are programmed: to keep the player interested by promising predictable outcomes. For example, in FF11, to get certain rare weaponry, one has to take part Notorious Monsters (NMs) hunt and each time you kill the NM, there will be a chance of the weapon dropping as loot reward. The probability of some of these weapons dropping can be as low as 1%! The thing about random reinforcement is that since this uses a probability chance of obtaining the item, the more and longer you camp an item, the greater your chances of getting it.

Regret Aversion

Random Reinforcement when combined with another psychological behavioral response known as regret aversion which I have studied in the book “The Paradox of Choice”, once you have spent say for example, 3 days of your time camping for a certain weapon, and you did not get your weapon, you are faced with 2 choices. The first choice is to continue camping for the weapon, and the second choice, to stop camping for the weapon.

To avoid feelings of regret, most people will opt to choose to continue camping for the weapon, because to stop would mean to say that you have wasted a whole 3 good days of your time camping the NM for nothing and the possibility of regret. Also you would be susceptible in facing the possibilities of the “What If” and “If Only” scenarios. You say to yourself, “If only I had not started to camp the stupid NM at all” or “What if the NM drops the weapon on the next try but I decide not to stop camping it?”

Flow Theory

This theory was explored and discovered by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in the 1990s. He coined the now famous idea of “the zone” – the special place between ability and challenge where an activity is not too hard that it causes anxiety and stress but not too easy that it causes people to feel bored. Game developers now use the flow theory in developing games that pull players in and keep them there.

For some games, the artificial intelligence (AI) in-built the game senses the players difficulty in overcoming certain obstacles and automatically reduces the game difficulty without letting the player know of the changes. This is a now known fact in famous games such as Pac-man, in which ability and challenge are balanced to keep a person inside “the-zone”.

Now we know the three psychological behavioral sciences taken into consideration by game designers which keep gamers addicted.

1. Regret aversion
2. Random reinforcements
3. Flow Theory

I don’t study psychology but there are probably a lot more known psychology behaviors which are designed into online games by game designers to keep gamers addicted. Although what I have just covered- biological makeup, classical conditioning and game design by producers which are all external influences and factors influencing addiction, this does not exonerate the gamer of his addiction and leave him defenseless and continually hooked to online gaming. These simply show the correlation between gaming and addiction, which differs significantly from cause and effect.

Social Factors

Social Circle

The social side of multiplayer online games keeps many people playing for long periods of time. They are the type of games that completely engross the player and some of them are not the type of games you can play for 20 minutes and simply decide to stop. To be serious in the game would mean that you have to spend time playing it. Also there exist social handcuffs, because in certain situations, your existence in a gaming event may be paramount for the team’s survivor and because you are dependent upon. For example, in a simple game of Dota, where each team consist of 5 players max, your convenient exit from the game would make the game imbalanced, leaving a 4v5 match up. By leaving the game you would be considered as a “noob” (newbie in short) and also a pariah in which case, you are likely to be blacklisted and banned from participating from future games.

Learned helplessness

Goh Chee Leong, dean of Department of Psychology at Kuala Lumpur’s HELP University College says: “Many people feel powerless in society, but in online games they’re in control of armies, of cities of other people”

In the 1960s, psychologist Martin Seligman and his collaborators performed an experiment that involved teaching three difference groups of animals to jump over a little hurdle from one side of a box to the other to escape or avoid an electric shock.

Group 1: No prior exposure to such experiments.

Group 2: Had already learned to make a different response, in a different setting, to escape from the shock. Seligman expected and found that this second group would learn a bit more quickly than the first, reasoning that some of what they had learned in the first experiment might transfer to the second.

Group 3: Also in a different setting, had been given a series of shocks that could not be escaped by any response.

Remarkably, this third group failed to learn at all. Indeed many of them essentially had no chance to learn because they did not even try to escape from the shocks. These animals became quite passive, lying down to taking the shocks until the researchers mercifully ended the experiment.

Seligman and his colleagues suggested that the animals in this third group had learned from being exposed to inescapable shocks that nothing they did made a difference; that they were essentially helpless when it came to controlling their fate. Like the second group, they had also transferred to the hurdle-jumping situation lessons they had learned before- in this case, learned helplessness.

My point here is that, many people desire to be in control of their situation and also for success. However circumstances often rob people of the necessary choices to meet their need for control and success. The consequences can be dire and consequently, these people may seek alternative forms of control and success, in which exists in a virtual world. You can build your own guild and organize your own raids etc. Also the feeling of “pwning” a “noob” can be an exhilarating experience. Try playing Dota if you don’t believe me.

How to curb and/or prevent the addiction

Choice and Freewill

Ultimately, the main cause of gaming addiction is contributed by the power of choice and freewill.

If you choose NOT to play in the first place, knowing the consequences of playing is online addiction, you are unlikely to get addicted. Even if you did not know that it is possible to get hooked to online gaming, and inevitably get addicted, with freewill, you can “unhook” yourself anytime you want by simply choosing and dedicating yourself to the choice. I can say that confidently because I am a living example of a person who managed to purge myself of this craving.

Awareness

To stop the addiction, one must first be aware that he is addicted to it. Also, he needs to know the severity of the addiction and the consequences that he faces. Low dopamine combined with another brain chemical, serotonin, that normally causes calm and controlled behavior, can give irrational urges even greater free rein. This is why people continue to play online games without regard for future consequences in school grades or social relationships.

Visit http://www.rdasia.com to take an online gaming addiction test.

Seek Help

You can also seek help internally from friends, family or loved ones and also try to build up your social circle. Asking people out more frequently may also help. There’s a known 2 week rule of breaking a habit, in which for most people once you stop a habitual activity for 2 weeks, you have a very high chance of breaking that habit. However, this varies from individual to individual and the 2 week duration may need to be extended. Also, since you are likely to curb one gaming addiction by moving on to a different game, make sure you do not start playing another game!

Personally, when I want to stop using the computer for example during the examination period, I ask my sister to hide my keyboard or if I want to stop playing a game, I ask my sister to hide the CD and instruct her not to return it to me at any circumstances! It works!

If internal help is not sufficient or perhaps you are too shy to ask for help from your internal circle, you can try to seek external help. There are a lot of online addiction help services online such as On-line Gamers Anonymous (http://www.Olganon.org).

Friends or girlfriends, whom you know or feel that a person you care about is addicted to the online gaming predicament, should also be encouraged to help out by asking him/her out more. But please remember to be tactful. I hope this article proves useful!